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Paying
The Bill
Mr.
Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and
taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well
and, as
the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a
Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.
"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the
nun, gently patting
his hand. "We do need to know, however, how you intend to
pay for
your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?"
"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.
"Then can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun.
"I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."
"Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun
questioned sternly.
"Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered.
"But she's a humble
spinster nun."
"Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not spinsters
- they are
married to God."
"Wonderful," said Mr. Smith. "In that case,
please send the bill to my
brother-in-law."
Author Unknown
Experimental
Pill
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is
losing
interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill but warns her that
it is still
experimental and tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes
at dinner.
That night at dinner, she does so.
About a week later, she's back at the doctor.
She says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the
potatoes like you
said! It wasn't five minutes, and he jumps up, rakes all the
food and dishes
on the floor, grabs me, rips all my clothes off, and ravages me
right there
on the table!"
The doctor says, "I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill was
that strong. The
foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."
"Naah," she says, "that's okay. We aren't going
back to that restaurant
anyway."
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