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Green
Hair
A
young woman with a purple mohawk, a variety of tattoos, and punk
rocker's clothing entered the hospital with acute appendicitis,
so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.
Once she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the
staff noticed her pubic hair was dyed green, and above that
there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass."
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short
note on the patient's dressings which said, "Sorry about
this, but we had to mow the lawn."
Author Unknown
An
Apple A Day
While visiting a friend in the hospital, I noticed several
pretty nurses wearing little apple pins. I stopped one nurse and
asked her what the pin signified. "Oh, she said,
"that's just to keep the doctors away."
Nursing
Home
An
old man in the nursing home was chatting up an old woman, and
they agreed their sex life was all but finished. She then agreed
to sit on the garden seat each evening with her hand on his
penis. This went okay for one week, when suddenly, another woman
was sitting in her place.
The first woman said, "Oh, so now you have another
woman. What has she got that I haven't got?"
The old man grinned and said, "Parkinson's."
Thoughts
To Ponder
Why
do scientists call it research when they're looking for
something new that's never been searched?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their
picket signs?
If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide & seek,
does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.
Why is it that "gullible" is not in the dictionary?
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Why do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have
call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want
to talk to in the first place ?
Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in
eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in
pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French
fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which
aren't sweet, are meat.
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