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Hillary's Physical

Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out
that she's pregnant. She is furious. Here she is about to run for
Senator of New York and this has happened to her.

She calls the White House, gets Bill on the phone, and immediately
starts screaming: "How could you have let this happen? With all that's
going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you???!!!
I can't believe this! I just found out that I am five weeks pregnant and
it's all your fault!! YOUR FAULT!! Well, what do you have to say???"

There is nothing but dead silence on the other end of the phone.

She screams again, "DID YOU HEAR ME?"

Finally, Bill says, in a very, very low whisper,

"Who is this?"


Author Unknown


Peanuts

A doctor at an insane asylum, decided to take his inmates to a baseball
game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his
commands.

When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well.
As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up nuts!" and the
inmates complied by standing up.

After the anthem he yelled, "Down Nuts!" and they all sat.

After a home run he yelled, "Cheer nuts!" and they all broke into applause
and cheers.

Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a
hot-dog, leaving his assistant in charge.

When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he
asked what happened. The assistant replied, "well... everything was fine
until some guy walked by and yelled, 'PEANUTS!."

Author Unknown

 
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